open sunroofs

So I am going to share one of those not-so-smart-janelle-ism’s that happened the other day for me. A couple of days ago, I got a massage for the first time ever in my life. Mainly because I got a gift card (I am too cheap to actually treat myself in that way). I had no idea what to expect as I walked through the glass doors that took me into a swanky spa, a place I should but do not get to see very often. When I approached the front desk and gave her my name for the appointment set up, she then proceeded to lead me up the spiral staircase.

I am so rich, I thought.

When the massage was over, I gathered my things together, got into my car, opened the sunroof and windows and began my drive home, blaring country tunes, because that is what you do in the summertime. Because of being extremely relaxed and not really all there, I turned off my car before the sunroof was completely closed. First mistake. I got out of my car, grabbed my things and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon reading and drinking my La Croix on the front porch swing. Around 7:00 that evening, dark clouds started quickly moving towards me. Because I have a thing for storms, you can always catch me staring at the sky waiting for slow drops of rain to begin flowing down in sheets. I love rain. I love lightning. I love thunder. Even more so, if I have the option of sitting on the porch allowing my senses to kick in and take over, I could sit in the midst of a rainstorm until it ends. There is something just so mesmerizing and beautiful about it all, even somewhat of a thrill.

As it neared time for bed, I cracked my windows so I can hear it roll on through as I closed my eyes and drifted off. Dear Journal, what a relaxing day. I closed a chapter of life by stopping by school and turning in my keys. I got a massage for the first time. Again, feel so rich. And I feel like now I can fall asleep with nothing on my mind. Today was a refreshing and a much-needed kind of day.

The next morning, I woke and did my usual morning routine. Lay in bed for about ten minutes while checking my phone, slowly get moving by saying “Good Morning” to my dog Milo, and head downstairs to make coffee. Without coffee, you’re going to have to give me at least an hour to come to life, so naturally, coffee speeds up the process a bit. And I mean, of course it’s my favorite smell and taste in the world. After I filled up my cup, I grabbed my journal, pen and mug and went out to the front porch swing to enjoy the slow sunny morning filled with the humidity and fresh smell of nourishment that the rain brought. As I scanned the front yard, my eyes shifted towards my car, and to my dismay, I noticed the sunroof guard of my car up.

No.  No.   You have GOT to be kidding me. There is no way the sunroof is open. I swear I closed it. Shoot. How did this happen.  Slow blink. Still open. What.

Also me, all of these thoughts were running through my mind as I stopped myself from happily swinging on the porch swing, staring at my car. Just staring. Sure enough. As I walked over to my car the sunroof was indeed open and I had about an inch of water sitting in my cup holders.

Awesome. My life. Praise hands. High-five, Janelle.

What I thought was going to be a slow, relaxing morning, turned into me frantically grabbing the dehumidifier from the basement and researching/texting friends to gain insight on how to dry out your soaked car. Roll my eyes. That night, I laid in bed with my journal reflecting back on the past couple days and how significantly different my response was to the situations that panned out, obviously. Life changes, and in most times, we aren’t prepared for nor expecting the change that is to come.

This passed year, I decided to begin preparing for a change in my life by leaving my current teaching job. The experiences and skills obtained for the duration of my time there are invaluable as I am now entering into the process of discovering God’s calling on my life, one day, one decision, at a time. As we undergo the many changes in our lives, it is a sweet reminder that Jesus is holding our hands, going before us, and making a way to plant his desires within us, even if we’re human and make silly mistakes, like leaving the sunroof open during a torrential downpour. We can always remember that even when we can’t see what is on the other side of the decisions we make, the changes that occur, or the upsetting trials that hit us without warning, God is still good and we still have him. Even when I get a phone call telling me a loved one has passed, He is making a way. Even when the adoption process falls through and we have to pursue another option, he is making a way. Even when I step out on faith by quitting my job without having another, he is making a way. Even when your family simply cannot communicate effectively with each other, he is making a way. Even when you have done everything, and still can’t get pregnant, he is making a way. Even when I am diagnosed with a terminal illness, he is making a way. Even when my bank account is low and not sure where the next paycheck will come from, he is making a way. 

One thing remains is that when life makes shifts, we have a hope in our Heavenly Father, sweetly lifting our chins, reminding us we are not from here. He says that in this world we will have heartache, but that we can take heart. He has overcome.

broken down.

“And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all is work that he had done.” –Genesis 2:2

 If you are like me in any way, I like to see the beginning, the middle, and the end of what I am doing. Along with that, I also do not like the wait time –I just like to get it done and over with. But the beauty of everything we go through is the process. Life as we know it has many twists and turns, valleys and mountains. We all wish there was that ONE straight road that could lead us to the end faster, but that is not what God intends for any of his children. He has beauty for us to see along the way, and we are able to look in our rearview mirror and see His faithfulness. Creation was a process that took time, and God has not stopped creating as time passes.

Being completely transparent, I have not been taking the time to enjoy the “ride” lately. Because of that, I have grown discontent and frustrated with my current situation that led me to unconsciously begin the process of changing my life completely, in a positive way of course. However, making a massive, drastic change is not always the answer to our current situations. This morning I was sweetly reminded that something I could do is make multiple little changes in my life in order to respond differently to what is taking place in my life.

God has given me the free will to make choices. Those choices reflect what my heart’s desires are. With considering a massive life change decision, the Lord revealed to me that it was such a selfish “wanting out” situation, when in all reality God has me where I am FOR HIM and FOR A REASON. I know that sounds cliché but it is absolutely true. However, with those choices, it is not a matter of making the right or wrong decision for my life, but rather, “How can I serve my Creator more effectively” kind of decision. Maybe breaking it down to smaller changes will make for a more effective change ultimately. Gosh…That is actually relieving and turns my mountains into hills. This could be as simple as making wise financial decisions, running on a different path than you normally do, reaching out to different relationships every week, moving out of your apartment or out of state, etc. That way results seem more obtainable and in essence easier to accomplish. Also, in the meantime we can do our best to handle things like Chandler from Friends

No but seriously,  let’s purpose to break down every area of our lives and invite God to invade each place so our hearts desires and decisions give Him glory and lead us into experiencing His heart more…Do it with me?